I Made a $100-Looking Charcuterie Board With $20 of Aldi Groceries
The Art of the Affordable Spread
I wanted to make a stunning, abundant-looking charcuterie board but was shocked by the price of specialty cheeses and meats. I went to Aldi with a $20 bill. I bought their surprisingly good cheap brie, a block of cheddar, a package of salami, and a box of their fancy-looking crackers. I added some grapes and a handful of nuts. I sliced the cheese and salami thinly, arranged everything artfully on a simple wooden cutting board, and the final result looked like it came from a gourmet deli. It was a feast for the eyes and the wallet.
The “Salami Rose”: The Easiest Trick That Makes Your Board Look Pro
The Champagne Flute Fold
I saw beautiful “salami roses” on charcuterie boards and thought they required some expert-level skill. The secret is a champagne flute. You just take thin slices of salami and fold them over the rim of the glass, overlapping them. You continue to layer the salami slices. Then, you just flip the glass over onto your board, and you are left with a perfect, beautiful, and impressive-looking rose made of salami. It’s the easiest and most impactful trick you can do.
The One Cheese That Doesn’t Belong on Your Charcuterie Board
The Curse of the Pre-Crumbled Blue
I love blue cheese, so I put a pile of pre-crumbled gorgonzola on my charcuterie board. This was a huge mistake. By the end of the night, everything on the board—the crackers, the fruit, the other cheeses—tasted faintly of blue cheese. The strong flavor had migrated and contaminated everything around it. I learned that if you are going to use a powerful, crumbly cheese like blue cheese, you should always serve it in its own, separate small bowl.
How to Arrange a Board So It Looks Abundant and Beautiful
The Rule of Threes
My first charcuterie boards looked sparse and sad. I learned a simple design principle from food stylists. You start by placing your three “anchor” items on the board first: your cheeses. You arrange them in a triangle shape on the board. Then, you add your meats, usually in two or three different spots. Then you add your crackers. By starting with these main components and arranging them in odd numbers, you create a visually appealing foundation that you can then fill in with all the other delicious bits.
The “River of Nuts” and Other Secrets to Filling Gaps
The Final Flourish of Abundance
My board had all the main ingredients, but there were awkward empty spaces. The secret to that look of effortless abundance is to fill every single gap. I learned to make a “river” of almonds or pistachios that snakes between the cheeses and meats. I would tuck small sprigs of fresh rosemary into the gaps. I would fill any tiny, remaining holes with individual blueberries or pomegranate seeds. This final step is what takes a board from looking like a snack plate to looking like a work of art.
Stop Buying Expensive Crackers: Bake These Instead
The Sourdough Discard Cracker
I was spending a lot on fancy, artisanal crackers for my charcuterie boards. I learned that I could make better crackers at home for pennies, using my sourdough starter discard. I just mix the discard with a little bit of olive oil and some herbs, roll it out super thin, sprinkle it with flaky sea salt, and bake it until it’s crispy. The crackers have a delicious, tangy flavor and a perfect, rustic crunch that is better than any store-bought variety.
The Most Underrated Meat for Your Charcuterie Board
The Humble Mortadella
Everyone uses prosciutto and salami on their boards. The most underrated and delicious addition, I’ve found, is Mortadella. It’s an Italian cold cut with a silky, smooth texture and a rich, savory flavor. When you slice it paper-thin, it drapes beautifully on a board and provides a wonderful, soft textural contrast to the harder, chewier salamis. It’s also usually much more affordable than prosciutto, making it a budget-friendly way to add a touch of Italian elegance.
How to Pair Cheeses and Jams Like an Expert
The “What Grows Together, Goes Together” Rule
I was always confused about which jam to pair with which cheese. A cheesemonger gave me a simple rule of thumb: “What grows together, goes together.” This means pairing cheeses and fruits that come from the same geographical region. For example, a Spanish Manchego cheese is beautiful with a fig jam. An English cheddar is fantastic with an apple chutney. This simple, terroir-based approach is a great starting point for creating classic and delicious pairings.
I Made a “Dessert” Charcuterie Board and It Was a Huge Hit
The Sweetest Spread
I wanted to bring a unique dessert to a party. I decided to make a “dessert charcuterie board.” I took a large platter and, instead of meats and cheeses, I arranged a beautiful spread of chocolate, cookies, fresh berries, marshmallows, and different dessert dips like caramel and chocolate hazelnut spread. It was a huge hit. It was interactive, it was beautiful, and it had a little something for everyone. It was the most fun and easiest party dessert I’ve ever made.
The Best Way to Prep Your Board Ahead of Time
The Parchment Paper Blueprint
I was stressed about having to assemble my entire charcuterie board right before my guests arrived. I learned a great prep hack. The day before, I get my board out and I cut pieces of parchment paper to the rough size and shape of my cheeses and meats. I arrange these paper “placeholders” on the board to perfect my layout. I then pre-slice all my cheeses and meats and store them in the fridge. When my guests are about to arrive, I just have to replace the paper placeholders with the real ingredients.